Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My penis needs a shock collar
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
