He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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