I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
