I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
