I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
