like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
