I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
