You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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