Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Your topless pictures make me question reality
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
