If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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