thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
