remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
