She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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