is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
