Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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