Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
