Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Two words: nipple clamps
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