you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
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your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
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You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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