i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
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His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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