Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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