i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
