Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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