omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
