In the future we'll all be gay
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
