I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
