Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
