he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I AM VODKA MAN
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
