The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Do vagina's smell?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
