he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
