like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
