they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
