She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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