I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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