Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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