You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
