I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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