porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
how does that bad decision feel?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
