quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
