i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
