I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
