You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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