You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
