we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
