The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What drink are we having for lunch?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
