420 ftw
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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