Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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