Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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