a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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