Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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