Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize