he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
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I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
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Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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