i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
