Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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