Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
