we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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