i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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