no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
