I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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