I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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