I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
