i already hear my dad disowning me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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