You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
