Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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